The Desperate Confession

Section 1: Love at First Belly

Ever since Marvel escaped her clutches, Yangtze River had been wandering aimlessly through Flushing City, searching for someone to fill the emptiness in her heart.

Eventually, she stopped outside an old DVD store with its metal shutter raised and the counter facing the sidewalk.

Behind the counter sat the same owner Lawson had known for over ten years, watching TV with a remote in his hand. Once muscular, he now had a huge, round belly—but he was still shirtless.

To Yangtze, that enormous belly was incredibly sexy. The sight instantly turned her on.

She approached the counter from the sidewalk, looking unusually shy. She nervously rubbed one index finger against the other.

“Um, hey… excuse me! Can I ask you something? It’s kinda personal, and I don’t even know how to say it…”

The owner noticed her embarrassed expression and nodded knowingly.

“Ah, say no more! Just show me your ID. The adult DVD section is right over there in the corner.”

Yangtze shook her head.

“Oh! No, no! You got it all wrong! I really wanna lick your belly! It’s so big and round! Just one little lick, please? I swear it’ll only take a second!”

The owner stared at her in disbelief.

For a moment, he couldn’t find the words.

Then he slammed his TV remote onto the counter.

“WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?! Get the fuck away from my store, you sick freak!”

Yangtze recoiled.

“Wait! Please! I’m serious! Just one second! That’s all I’m asking!”

“GET LOST!”

Heartbroken, Yangtze lowered her head and walked away.

She had barely gone a few blocks when someone shouted behind her.

“HEY! THERE SHE IS!”

A group of police officers and gangsters came rushing toward her.

“That’s the freak with the thousand-dollar bounty! GET HIM!”

Yangtze turned around in alarm.

“Oh, come on! Can’t you people just leave me alone?!”

The men charged at her.

A short while later, most of them were lying unconscious in the street. Two lay completely motionless, while another had deep cracks spreading across his skull.

Yangtze River was nowhere to be seen.

Section 2: A Handful of Trouble

Yangtze River continued wandering through Local Alley, still searching for her next love.

Suddenly, she heard someone shouting nearby.

“In my entire robbing career, I’ve never robbed a bigger loser than you! Five fucking bucks?! That’s all you’ve got?! I’m gonna beat you so bad even your own mother won’t recognize you!”

A gangster was robbing a short, skinny man wearing pajamas, with a ridiculous bowl haircut.

It was Benson.

“Please, sir! That’s everything I’ve got! I swear!” Benson pleaded.

The gangster raised his fist, ready to punch him.

Although the Local Hero Association had expelled Yangtze for killing Lazy Guy, her old heroic instincts immediately kicked in.

Before she could even think, her body moved on its own.

She sprang forward, threw herself between Benson and the gangster, and charged at him like a wrestler.

BREAST SLAM!

Her massive chest struck the gangster with tremendous force, sending him flying all the way across Local Alley.

BAM!

He crashed violently into the wall on the opposite side of the alley.

Benson stared at her in amazement.

“Oh, thank you so much, sir! You’re the manliest man I’ve ever seen!”

But Yangtze wasn’t listening.

Her attention had already been drawn to a nearby utility pole.

At least a hundred wanted posters featuring her face were plastered all over it, packed tightly in vertical rows from top to bottom.

The whole pole looked like a giant monument dedicated to her criminal record.

Yangtze stared at it in disbelief and muttered under her breath.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake! Is this really necessary?! A hundred wanted posters on ONE damn pole?!”

She paused for a moment, then muttered sadly.

“Man… I really miss being a Local Hero. One stupid mistake, and just like that… it’s all gone.”

She let out a long sigh.

Meanwhile, Benson was staring at her chest.

He tilted his head, looking confused.

“Hey, mister… those pecs of yours are HUGE!”

Without asking permission, Benson reached out and grabbed one of Yangtze’s breasts, squeezing it several times.

It was so enormous that his entire hand couldn’t even cover half of it.

Benson looked even more amazed.

“Oh, man! How the heck did you train these things?! So firm, so perky… and holy crap, so bouncy! They feel exactly like a woman’s breasts!”

Yangtze’s entire face turned bright red with fury.

“Hey! Hands off me, you perv!”

She grabbed Benson by his bowl haircut and lifted him completely off the ground.

Benson’s feet kicked wildly in midair as he struggled helplessly.

“Keep your damn hands to yourself! Touch me again, and I’ll chop your dick off!”

SLAP!

Yangtze struck him across the face with a powerful backhand slap, sending him flying several meters away.

Benson slammed into the ground, rolled once, and fell unconscious.

His face had swollen up like a giant apple.

Yangtze stared at him.

“Oops…”

She shook her head in disgust.

“Ugh, I hate losers like him! Who the fuck goes around groping people like that?! Fucking pervert!”

Suddenly, Benson’s body began to change.

His skinny frame expanded, growing taller and leaner. His skin turned deathly pale, and long white hair grew from his scalp.

The enormous swelling on his face disappeared completely, leaving it as good as new.

His fingers developed razor-sharp claws, two sharp fangs emerged beneath his upper lip, and his eyes began glowing blood-red.

Within seconds, he stood over 190 centimeters tall.

Dark Benson had awakened.

Yangtze stared at the terrifying figure before her.

“What the hell?! He turned into a ghost?!”

Dark Benson slowly raised one clawed finger and wagged it from side to side, a sinister grin spreading across his pale face.

“No, no, no, no, no…”

He tilted his head slightly.

“My, my. What a dreadful display of manners. You rescue a helpless fellow, only to strike him down yourself? How terribly uncivilized.”

Before Yangtze could react, he vanished.

SWISH!

He reappeared behind her.

With a single clawed finger, Dark Benson casually made several quick slashes through the air.

Invisible blades of wind swept across Yangtze’s head.

Strands of hair drifted through the air.

Then more.

Within seconds, every single hair on her head had been sliced away.

She was completely bald.

“My hair? What have you done to my hair?!”

Dark Benson casually examined his claws, a faint smile touching his lips.

“Oh, dear. I have taken such great pains to bestow upon you a most elegant new hairstyle, and yet you offer not a single word of thanks? Instead, you fly into a rage. How dreadfully ungrateful.”

He looked at her.

“Now, let this be a warning. Should you ever lay another hand upon that poor, watermelon-headed boy, I shall chop your dick off.”

Yangtze immediately protested.

“But I’m a girl!”

Dark Benson stared at her for a moment.

Then he burst into laughter.

“HAHAHAHA! My, my. What a remarkable imagination you have!”

With a dismissive wave of his hand, he added coldly,

“Be gone, you peculiar creature of uncertain gender. You’ve wasted quite enough of my time.”

Yangtze didn’t dare argue. She turned and fled, clutching her newly bald head, as terrified as if she had just encountered a real ghost.

Section 3: A Bowl of Humiliation

Still terrified by her encounter with Dark Benson, Yangtze River hurried into SkyView Mall and went straight to RamenHood.

She ordered a bowl of ramen and sat down.

“Ah, perfect! Nothing like a hot bowl of ramen to calm my nerves. Holy shit, that ghost nearly scared me to death! My heart’s still racing!”

She started eating, but after a few mouthfuls, she noticed a familiar figure sitting directly across from her.

A bucket hat, a brand-new pair of dark sunglasses—even indoors—and a police jacket draped over his shoulders.

It was Chief Commissioner Khan, the Pinnacle of the Kung Fu World.

Yangtze nearly choked. She immediately lowered her head, hoping he wouldn’t recognize her.

“No need to hide. I noticed you the moment you walked in. You’re that strange-looking chubby man with a thousand-dollar bounty on his head, aren’t you?”

Yangtze froze, not daring to correct him.

“Don’t worry. I’ve no interest in killing you. A mere thousand dollars? Hardly worth my time. Finish your meal and get lost.”

Seeing that Yangtze didn’t dare answer Khan, the other customers grew bold.

One customer pointed directly at her.

“Hey, look! That’s the wanted man! What the hell is he doing eating ramen?! Go to jail already!”

The restaurant owner marched right up to Yangtze and extended one hand, pointing his finger directly at her chest from just ten centimeters away.

“Good Lord! A man with two giant watermelons on his chest?! Is he a man, a woman, or a shemale? Ugh! I’ve lost my appetite for the next three days!”

His daughter glanced at Yangtze and shook her head.

“Seriously? He’s not even one-tenth as manly as Lord Canelo.”

The restaurant burst into laughter.

Yangtze’s face burned with humiliation, but with Khan sitting right there, she didn’t dare argue.

Instead, she grabbed her entire bowl of ramen, tilted her head back, and poured everything straight down her throat.

GULP! GULP! GULP!

The boiling-hot broth burned her throat, but she didn’t care.

In just ten seconds, the entire bowl was empty.

She carefully placed a hundred-dollar bill on the table, making sure not to make a sound.

The scalding broth had left her throat raw, and her voice was now painfully hoarse.

“P-please…” she croaked, forcing the polite words out. “Please keep the change…”

She was far too terrified to spend even a few extra seconds waiting for her change.

Then she slipped out of RamenHood as quickly and quietly as she could.

Khan continued eating his noodles as if nothing had happened.

Section 4: Love at Second Belly

After escaping from RamenHood, Yangtze River wandered back into Local Alley, still rubbing her newly bald head. Her throat was sore from the boiling-hot ramen, and she was still deeply humiliated by what had happened.

“What a fucking day… Is there nobody in this damn city who can love me for who I am?”

Suddenly, she spotted a large man leaning against a utility pole, with a big bag of empty bottles and soda cans beside him.

It was Tom.

Ever since the old woman died, Tom had been earning more money from collecting recyclables. He could now afford to treat himself to a can of Coca-Cola once in a while. With his enormous round belly hanging over his pants, he took tiny sips, letting the sweet, fizzy drink linger on his tongue before slowly swallowing. His eyes were half-closed with pleasure as he savored every precious drop.

Yangtze stopped in her tracks, her eyes drawn to his belly. So huge, so round, so beautiful, and so bouncy! Her heart began racing, and her pants were already getting wet.

“Oh, my God… Could this be… my true love?!”

She approached Tom shyly, nervously rubbing one index finger against the other.

“Hey there, handsome! You’ve got such a beautiful belly. Can I…? I mean, can I lick it?”

Tom stared at her in confusion and tightened his grip on his Coca-Cola.

“Huh?”

Unable to contain her lust any longer, Yangtze suddenly lunged toward him with both arms wide open.

“No way! Hands off my Coke! It’s mine! I just bought it!”

Tom quickly stretched his arm out to the side, keeping his precious Coca-Cola out of her reach. But Yangtze wasn’t interested in the drink. She wrapped both arms around his enormous waist and lifted his shirt, exposing his round belly.

As she leaned closer, she noticed a mysterious brown substance smeared across his skin. It was actually shit, but Yangtze was far too excited to care.

She licked it anyway.

SLUUURP!

Tom immediately brought the Coca-Cola to his mouth and gulped down every last drop.

GULP! GULP! GULP!

He grabbed Yangtze by the shoulders and pushed her away.

“Just ten more seconds, please!” Yangtze begged, reaching for his belly again.

“Oh, no! Listen! I already drank all my Coke! It’s gone! There’s nothing left!”

Suddenly, Tom glanced at the large bag beside him. His eyes widened.

“Wait a minute… Don’t tell me you’re after my recyclables too! My cans and bottles?!”

He shoved Yangtze away again, this time with even greater force, sending her stumbling several meters backward.

“Hey! Why are you being so cold to me? You don’t have to push me away like that!” Yangtze protested.

Tom pulled his bag closer and stared at her suspiciously.

“All right, enough! Just tell me one thing. Who the heck are you, sir?”

Yangtze’s face turned bright red with anger.

“For the last time, I’m not a man! Do I have to explain that to every damn person in this city?!”

Tom blinked several times, struggling to process what he’d just heard.

“Wait… what did you just say? You’re not a man? Ohhh, now I get it! Even a dummy like me can figure this one out. You’re a demon!”

Yangtze stared at him, completely stunned. She opened her mouth but couldn’t get a single word out.

Tom suddenly straightened up, looking far more confident.

“Well, all right, then! If you’re not human, I don’t have to hold back anymore! Nobody’s gonna throw me in jail for exorcising a demon!”

Section 5: Exorcise with Exercise

After all the humiliation and rejection she’d endured—not to mention having every strand of her hair sliced off—Yangtze River finally snapped.

She threw her head back and screamed at the sky.

“AAAAAAARGH!”

She had completely lost her mind.

“All right! If I can’t have such a beautiful flower, then nobody else can! I’ll destroy it!”

With a furious roar, she charged straight at Tom, swinging both hands toward the sides of his head.

DEMOLITION CLAP!

Tom planted his feet firmly and blocked the attack with both forearms. The tremendous impact traveled through his body, cracking the concrete beneath his feet.

Yangtze stared in disbelief. Her most devastating technique had been stopped, just like that.

Tom lowered his aching arms and looked at her with sudden understanding.

“Yeah, I knew it! You’re possessed! There’s a demon living inside you! Oh, I got it! I can use exercise to exorcise you! No pun intended!”

Before Yangtze could react, Tom grabbed her firmly by both shoulders and pulled her toward him.

“All right! Three sets of high knees, thirty seconds each! That oughta drive the demon right out of you!”

He held Yangtze by both shoulders and began driving his knees straight into her abdomen.

BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM!

Three to four strikes every second.

Tom kept going for thirty seconds, took a short break, and started his second set. Then came the third.

By the time he finished, Yangtze had taken hundreds of knees to the abdomen. Her eyes had rolled back, white foam was leaking from her mouth, and her entire body had gone limp.

Tom finally released her shoulders, letting her collapse onto the ground.

“There! That oughta do it!”

He picked her up, tossed her into a nearby pile of garbage, and returned to his bag of recyclables.

Section 6: The Jackpot

After tossing Yangtze River into a pile of garbage, Tom picked up his bag of recyclables and continued walking through Local Alley.

“Hmm, let’s see… Just two hundred more cans, and that’s another ten bucks! Then I can treat myself to a nice Happy Meal at McDonald’s tonight!”

Tom smiled to himself. Life was wonderful. His recycling business was going so well that he practically considered himself a rich man.

As he approached an intersection, he noticed a wanted poster attached to a utility pole. The square face in the photograph looked strangely familiar.

Tom stopped and took a closer look.

It was Yangtze River.

WANTED — DEAD OR ALIVE
REWARD: $1,000

His eyes widened with excitement.

“Oh! A thousand! Holy crap, I hit the jackpot!”

He leaned closer to examine the poster. Unfortunately, Tom could barely read. The only things he could recognize were the word DEAD and the number 1,000.

The face in the photograph looked exactly like the man he had just fought, except for one thing—the man in the picture still had hair.

Tom scratched his head thoughtfully.

“Hmm… I knew it! That ghost’s been dead for a thousand years! It possessed that poor guy! And that’s why he went bald! Yep, that’s what happens when a ghost takes over your body!”

He nodded proudly, thoroughly impressed by his own brilliant deduction.

“Man, I really hit the jackpot today! I just exorcised a thousand-year-old ghost! I’m a freaking hero!”

With a satisfied smile, Tom turned around and resumed collecting recyclables.

Even without the thousand-dollar bounty, Tom’s standard of living had already improved considerably. Ever since the old woman died, nobody had been competing with him for bottles and cans. Business was booming, and his quality of life had reached a whole new level.

Just look at his belly—it had gotten even bigger and sexier to some individuals!