The Love Pandemic

Section 1: Love at Second Kick

In Local Alley, a stray dog had its teeth clamped around a toddler’s neck. It shook the child violently several times before flinging the little body aside.

The toddler hit the pavement and lay motionless.

Just then, a young woman happened to walk by.

The dog immediately turned toward her, bared its teeth, and began barking aggressively.

WOOF! WOOF! WOOF!

Terrified, the woman backed against a wall.

The dog crept closer until it was just half a meter away. It lowered its body and dug its paws into the ground, ready to pounce.

“I DON’T WANNA DIE! SOMEBODY SAVE ME!”

Tears streamed down her cheeks as she screamed in terror.

Meanwhile, at the other end of Local Alley, Marvel was sprinting down the street in his Zhongshan suit.

He was running late for his appointment with Coco and Amy at Sakura Spa. If he didn’t show up on time, his appointment would be canceled, and he’d lose his nonrefundable deposit.

“Oh, crap! I’m gonna… be late! They’ll cancel my… appointment! And my deposit… is gone!”

He pushed himself even harder, completely missing the banana peel lying in his path.

SLIIIIIP!

“WHOOOOAAAA!”

Marvel lost his footing and went flying, his body almost perfectly horizontal, face toward the sky and feet stretched out in front of him.

At that very moment, the stray dog sprang into the air, lunging straight at the terrified woman.

BAM!

One of Marvel’s feet struck the dog squarely on the nose in midair!

YEEEEELP!

The dog flew two meters backward, hit the ground, rolled several times, and passed out.

Marvel landed on the pavement, rolled twice, and sprang back to his feet in one smooth motion. He let out a sigh of relief.

“Oh, man… that was… that was close!”

He dusted off his Zhongshan suit, still facing away from the woman.

The woman slowly lowered her hands. The dog was lying unconscious, and standing between her and the dog was a man in a Zhongshan suit. She stared at his back, her eyes widening.

Wait a minute… That suit… That kick…

Suddenly, she remembered the mysterious man who had rescued her on the fifth floor of SkyView Mall. He had sent her attacker flying with a single kick, but she had never seen his face, only his back. And now, that same familiar silhouette stood right in front of her.

Hmm… He looks a little chubbier than last time…

She quickly brushed the thought aside, her heart racing as tears welled up in her eyes.

It’s him! It has to be him!

After all this time, she had finally found her mysterious hero.

Section 2: The Kiss of Destiny

Ever since the mysterious man rescued her at SkyView Mall, the young woman had been dreaming about him every night. She imagined him sweeping her off her feet and carrying her into a beautiful church, spending a romantic night together at a luxurious hotel, and sharing a passionate kiss.

Of course, she had never seen his face. So in her dreams, she simply imagined a glossy headshot of a handsome movie star awkwardly pasted over his face, like a cheap photo edit.

And now, fate had finally brought them together again! This time, she wasn’t letting him get away.

She rushed forward and threw her arms around Marvel’s waist from behind, tears streaming down her cheeks.

“Oh, my God! It’s really you! I’ve missed you so much! I’ve been thinking about you every single day! I’ve dreamed of holding you, kissing you, and spending the rest of my life with you!”

Marvel froze.

“R-really? You wanna… wanna kiss me?”

He turned around, a sleazy grin spreading across his face.

“Oh, wow! Isn’t this… this a little fast? Hehehe! But hey… hey, if you want it that bad, let’s… let’s do it right here, right now!”

The woman finally got a good look at him.

Round glasses. Short hair parted down the middle. An unattractive face with a creepy grin. His Zhongshan suit was buttoned all the way up to the collar, and a noticeable belly bulged beneath it.

What the hell?! This is NOT the man I imagined!

She flinched and gently pressed a hand against his chest, pushing him back just enough to put some distance between their faces. Unfortunately, Marvel already had an arm wrapped around her waist.

“All right, baby… baby, let’s do this! I’m… I’m so ready!”

As his excitement grew, veins bulged across his arms and neck, and his face began twisting into something beastlike.

Semi-Beast Mode!

A long, snake-like tongue slipped out of his mouth, flicking rapidly back and forth through the air.

Goosebumps broke out all over the woman’s body, and cold sweat beaded on her forehead.

Oh, no! What the hell have I gotten myself into?!

Desperate to stall him, she forced a nervous smile.

“W-wait! Shouldn’t we introduce ourselves first? We don’t even know each other’s names! Actually, let me go first. My name is—”

“Names? Names aren’t important! Let’s kiss first! We can exchange names afterward!”

Marvel tightened his grip around her waist and leaned in.

The woman tried to pull away, but he wouldn’t let go. With no way out, she reluctantly squeezed her eyes shut.

Oh, God… Just get it over with. Please!

Marvel closed his eyes too, his snake-like tongue stretching toward her face.

Cold sweat trickled down her cheeks as he moved closer and closer.

CRAAAAACK!

Without warning, her head was crushed from both sides. Cracks spread across her entire skull, and blood seeped from every fracture.

Section 3: The Beast Returns

Marvel opened his eyes.

Standing directly behind the woman was a tall, muscular figure with an enormous chest and a completely bald head.

It was Yangtze River!

Her massive hands were still pressed against both sides of the woman’s shattered skull, blood seeping between her fingers.

“How dare you, my pretty boy?! You two-timing bastard! You’ve been fooling around with another woman behind my back?!”

Yangtze released her grip. As the woman’s knees buckled, Marvel instinctively caught her, holding her limp body in his arms.

The moment Marvel recognized Yangtze, every trace of excitement vanished. His snake-like tongue slipped back into his mouth, the bulging veins faded, and his twisted features returned to normal.

His Semi-Beast Mode was gone.

Marvel stared at Yangtze, then down at the dying woman in his arms.

Three seconds passed.

Not a word.

Then his entire body began trembling. Thick veins bulged across his arms, neck, and forehead as his muscles swelled to monstrous proportions. His face twisted into that of a ferocious beast, his eyes burning with uncontrollable rage.

Full Beast Mode!

“HOW DARE YOU?!”

His thunderous roar echoed through Local Alley.

“Thirty years! Thirty miserable years of loneliness! And just when fate finally smiled upon me, I found the woman of my dreams! My first girlfriend! My first love! My kiss of destiny!”

He clenched his fists, his entire body shaking with fury.

“I was this close! This close to the happiest moment of my life! And you ruined everything! You shattered thirty years of hope in a single second!”

Consumed by rage, Marvel casually tossed the dying woman into a nearby pile of garbage without giving her another glance.

Yet somehow, she was still conscious.

“Heh… heh…”

Two faint chuckles escaped her lips, and a weak smile appeared on her bloodied face.

“At least… I didn’t have to betray my feelings… I’m so glad… I saved my first kiss…”

With those final words, she died.

Yangtze stared at Marvel in horror. His muscles had swollen beyond recognition, thick veins covered his body, and his once-familiar face had transformed into that of a terrifying beast.

“Oh, no… Who the hell are you?! You’re not my pretty boy!”

She took a nervous step backward, but Marvel had already turned his furious gaze toward her.

“I’ll avenge my girlfriend! I’ll tear you apart, you despicable man!”

“Hey, come on! I’m a woman, damn it! Look at my breasts!”

Marvel answered with a vicious swing of his enormous palm.

BOOOOOOM!

His hand never even touched her. The sheer force of the air blast hurled Yangtze nearly thirty meters through the air, sending her flying out of Local Alley and onto the main street.

Before she could recover, Marvel dropped onto all fours and charged after her like a wild beast. In the blink of an eye, he was right beside her, driving a devastating punch straight toward her head.

Yangtze’s survival instincts kicked in. She jerked her head aside at the very last moment.

KABOOOOOOM!

Marvel’s fist smashed into the pavement, splitting the entire road apart. Massive cracks tore across the street as chunks of asphalt and concrete shot into the air. Several nearby cars jolted violently and came to an abrupt stop, trapped by the shattered roadway.

Yangtze stared at the destruction, her face drained of color.

Holy shit! That punch would’ve blown my head clean off!

Marvel was already preparing his next attack.

Fuck! If I don’t get out of here right now, that monster’s gonna rip me to pieces!

Forget fighting. Forget love. Forget her pretty boy.

Yangtze River turned and ran for her life.

Section 4: The Desperate Escape

Yangtze River sprinted down Main Street, running for her life.

She glanced over her shoulder, and her heart nearly stopped. The monstrous beast was still charging after her on all fours, getting closer with every passing second.

Holy shit! He’s still coming! I can’t outrun this monster! I’m gonna fucking die!

Just as she reached an intersection, she spotted a large livestock truck passing by, carrying more than a hundred live pigs to a slaughterhouse.

Her eyes suddenly lit up with hope.

“Holy shit! Another pig truck?! You saved my ass last time! Save me again!”

Without a moment’s hesitation, Yangtze grabbed a young woman walking nearby and hurled her backward, straight toward the approaching Marvel.

“AAAAAAAH!”

Marvel didn’t slow down for even a second. He brought both hands together like a spear and drove them straight through the woman’s body.

SHHHHUNK!

In one violent motion, he spread his arms apart, tearing her body in half.

RRRRRIP!

The two halves crashed onto the pavement as Marvel continued his terrifying charge without even looking back.

But that single second was all Yangtze needed.

With one desperate leap, she jumped onto the back of the moving truck, landing among the squealing pigs.

Clinging tightly to the metal railing, she turned toward the beast and shouted with all her strength.

“SO LONG, BEAST!”

Yangtze finally let out a long, trembling sigh of relief. Her heart was still pounding wildly.

“Holy shit… I made it! I actually made it! I’m gonna live another day! Oh, thank God! That was way too fucking close!”

Section 5: When Pigs Fly

A couple of seconds later, Yangtze River was still gripping the metal railing at the back of the truck, watching the road behind her.

Suddenly, her eyes widened in terror.

The monstrous beast was gaining on the truck at an unbelievable speed, charging forward on all fours like a wild animal hunting its prey.

What the fuck?! This truck’s doing sixty kilometers an hour! Is that beast running at eighty?!

Before Yangtze could even process what she was seeing, Marvel had already caught up.

With an explosive leap, the beast launched himself forward and slammed his shoulder into the side of the truck with tremendous force.

KABOOOOOOOOOM!

The entire truck tipped violently onto its side and began spinning across the road like a gigantic metal top. Its massive frame twisted and crumpled, wheels tore loose, and steel panels bent under the enormous pressure.

Then, with one final thunderous crash, the entire truck burst apart!

More than a hundred live pigs were launched into the sky, scattering in every direction like fireworks.

Some slammed onto the pavement and bounced across the street, rolling helplessly like giant bowling balls.

Others soared high above the surrounding buildings. One unfortunate pig flew straight through a tenth-floor apartment window, shattering the glass.

Another pig sailed several blocks away, crashing directly onto the long metal skewers of a roadside barbecue grill.

SIZZZZZZZLE!

Meanwhile, the truck driver was sent flying nearly forty meters into the air, still desperately gripping his steering wheel with both hands.

Unfortunately, the steering wheel was the only part of the truck that had remained with him.

“AAAAAAAaaaaaah!”

He continued flying through the air, screaming helplessly, until he finally crashed onto the concrete pavement an entire block away, dying instantly.

Yangtze River, however, was launched at a much lower angle.

The tremendous impact sent her muscular body soaring through the sky in a long, smooth arc, traveling an incredible distance.

She flew over one entire block.

Then another.

Her body continued sailing through the air until she finally reached Flushing Bay, two full blocks away.

SPLAAAAAAAAASH!

Yangtze plunged into the bay with tremendous force, sending an enormous wall of water shooting into the air before disappearing beneath the surface.

Back on Main Street, the entire roadway had been reduced to a scene of absolute destruction. Twisted metal, shattered concrete, and pieces of the destroyed truck lay scattered everywhere.

Marvel stood motionless in the middle of the devastation.

Less than half a minute passed.

As the thick clouds of dust gradually settled, the terrifying beast was nowhere to be seen.

Instead, an ordinary, chubby man with round glasses stood alone amid the wreckage.

Marvel slowly lowered his head. His shoulders began trembling, and tears streamed down his cheeks.

With heavy steps, he made his way back onto the sidewalk, sobbing like a man whose entire world had fallen apart.

“My… my girlfriend… my first… first girlfriend…”

He wiped his eyes with his sleeve, but the tears wouldn’t stop.

“My… my first love… We… we were supposed to… to kiss…”

Without sparing a single glance at the devastated street, the dead driver, or the countless victims of his rampage, Marvel slowly walked away, crying uncontrollably.

Section 6: The Three-Day Marathon

Late at night, in a dimly lit room, an old-looking young man, Lawson, sat slumped in front of his computer, barely able to keep his eyes open.

For three days and three nights, he had been watching porn almost nonstop, desperately following the advice of Mildy, the unlicensed doctor who claimed that watching porn could boost his testosterone and protect his manhood from HJV.

His eyes were bloodshot, with deep, dark circles beneath them. His entire body was trembling from exhaustion.

Three days… three fucking nights! Please, God… tell me it worked!

With a trembling hand, Lawson reached down and nervously felt his crotch.

His eyes suddenly lit up with joy.

“Oh, thank God! It’s still as huge as ever! My manhood is safe!”

He let out a long sigh of relief, almost bursting into tears.

“Holy shit! Mildy’s crazy method really worked! That guy sure knows how to save the day when it matters!”

Barely able to stay awake, Lawson dragged himself to the couch and collapsed onto it, accidentally pressing the TV remote.

A female news reporter appeared on the screen.

“Good evening. Earlier today, a livestock truck carrying over a hundred pigs was destroyed on Main Street, near Local Alley. Authorities suspect a mechanical malfunction. The driver was killed, and pigs were scattered across several surrounding streets.”

Footage showed the wrecked truck, shattered pavement, and pigs wandering helplessly through the neighborhood.

Lawson stared at the screen with half-closed eyes and let out a long yawn.

“Ugh… boring news…”

Section 7: The Final Contribution

Suddenly, the female reporter on television announced some extraordinary breaking news.

“Ladies and gentlemen! After a month of tireless research, Deep Suck CEO Karl and his team have successfully developed a vaccine against HJV! The HJV pandemic is officially over! Adult entertainment venues and massage parlors are reopening, and sex services are back in business! During the pandemic, reported rape cases in Flushing City rose by a shocking 250 percent!”

The broadcast then switched to Karl, a severely weakened man suffering from ALS. His skeletal body rested in a wheelchair, and he could no longer speak on his own. Instead, he communicated through an electronic voice synthesizer with a British accent.

“Hello, everyone. I’m truly grateful that humanity has overcome yet another pandemic. Sadly, my battle with ALS is nearing its end, and this vaccine may be my final contribution to humanity. But I believe science will continue moving forward, even after I’m gone. With advances in medicine and artificial intelligence, perhaps one day, even ALS will have an effective treatment. Thank you, everyone. And may humanity continue to prosper.”

Meanwhile, on the other side of Flushing City, a mysterious figure stood silently in front of a television, watching Karl’s speech.

The figure had a distinctive pineapple-shaped hairstyle.

A single tear rolled down one cheek.