The Underwear vs. Local Hero — Part 1

Section 1: The Wrong Underwear

Sean continued down the street, his Chinese-flag cape fluttering behind him in the wind.

Suddenly, a man came flying toward him from up ahead.

Sean reacted instantly. He stepped forward and caught the man in both arms, the force of the impact pushing him half a step backward.

“Are you okay?” Sean asked.

The man coughed violently and spat out a mouthful of blood. “That underwear guy… he’s fucking insane…”

Sean stared down at the badly injured man in his arms, and his heart sank even further.

First the old woman. Now this young man. How many more innocent lives had to be destroyed before this madness finally came to an end? The grief and anger building inside him had nearly reached their breaking point.

Sean gently stroked the young man’s hair, trying to comfort him. “Don’t worry, young man,” he said solemnly. “You were supposed to have a bright future ahead of you.”

His eyes hardened with determination. “I swear… I’ll avenge your death.”

The man coughed weakly. “But… I’m not dead yet.”

The young man weakly lifted one trembling hand and pointed down the street.

“There… there he is.”

Without even looking, Sean immediately raised one hand and pointed in the same direction.

“You, the Underwear!” he declared. “Your rampage ends here.”

Sean finally looked in the direction he was pointing.

Several meters away stood a strange man dressed in a skin-tight pink athletic outfit, with a pair of bright green underwear pulled over the outside of it.

Sean froze for a second. Something didn’t seem quite right. The outfit was fucking ridiculous—and more importantly, this guy wasn’t even Dave.

Before Sean could say anything, the man in green underwear pointed furiously at the injured man in Sean’s arms.

“That motherfucker stole my wallet!”

Sean was caught off guard for a moment. He looked down at the young man, then back at the strangely dressed man.

“Oh…” Sean lowered his hand. “Actually, you are AN Underwear, but you’re not THE Underwear.”

The young man in Sean’s arms suddenly went limp. His eyes closed, and his head dropped to one side. He had finally passed out from his injuries.

Realizing he had just rescued a thief, Sean casually flung him aside like a bag of garbage.

“Fuck you!!”

The man in green underwear glanced at the unconscious thief on the ground.

Without moving from where he stood, he stretched one arm several meters across the street. It snaked into the thief’s pocket, pulled out a wallet, then retracted all the way back to its normal length.

He opened the wallet and checked inside.

“Yep. That’s mine.”

The man slipped the wallet back into his pocket and looked at Sean.

“Thanks. I hope our paths cross again someday, Local Hero.”

Then, as if suddenly remembering something, he casually pointed farther down the street.

“Oh, by the way. The Underwear you’re looking for is rampaging in front of the hardware store, near the end of the block.”

Section 2: The Old Rivals

Sean didn’t waste another second. Soon, he reached the end of the block and saw the hardware store ahead.

He looked around. The street was a wreck—broken signs, shattered glass, and debris scattered everywhere.

Nearby, a dead dog lay among the rubble, its mangled body twisted beyond recognition.

Sean looked at the dog for a moment. “I’m sorry for your loss, poor little creature,” he muttered.

Then he looked ahead. In front of the hardware store stood a gigantic muscular man wearing nothing but a pair of pink women’s underwear. There was no mistake this time.

“Hey, you!” Sean shouted. “Your rampage ends here!”

Dave turned around and immediately recognized him. It was Sean—the man who had beaten the crap out of him ten years ago. A flicker of anger crossed Dave’s face as he clenched his fists. Now, it was time to return the favor. As far as Dave was concerned, Sean was the villain here. Dave was no hero, but today, he was going to set things right.

For a moment, neither of them spoke. Sean stared at Dave. Dave stared back at Sean.

People began gathering on the opposite sidewalk, keeping their distance as they watched the two men. Among them stood Brian, watching quietly.

One man casually rubbed his eyes. Another yawned, bored out of his mind.

Then suddenly, a long, steady fart echoed through the street like a trumpet, announcing the fight’s official start.

Section 3: Four Takedowns

Dave charged forward, launching a heavy punch with brute force. Sean didn’t flinch. He simply leaned aside and slipped out of range with effortless grace.

Just as Sean expected, Dave was nothing but a pile of muscles—all strength, no technique. Just an amateur.

Dave kept swinging wildly, but Sean didn’t even raise his hands. With both hands in his pockets, he calmly stepped backward and tilted his shoulders, dodging every punch without breaking a sweat while subtly guiding Dave forward.

“Too slow,” Sean muttered.

As Dave stomped forward again, Sean’s eyes dropped for a second, catching the slight wobble in his left foot with every step.

“Your horse stance,” Sean said. “Classic amateur mistake. You fight like a dairy farmer.”

He casually swept his foot low.

Dave’s leg buckled, and his massive body toppled forward like a falling tree, crashing face-first into the pavement.

Sean glanced at the ground in front of him and sighed. “Just a bit off…”

Just a few centimeters in front of Dave’s face sat a huge, mushy pile of dog shit—fresh, sticky, and still steaming.

One of the onlookers stared at the near miss in disappointment. “Damn! The Underwear almost ate that shit. I really wanted to see his face smash into it. What a bummer.”

Sean had deliberately guided Dave toward the pile, hoping to make him land face-first in it. His calculation had simply been a little off.

Dave slowly pushed himself back up and brushed the dirt from his chest as if nothing had happened.

His pride, however, had taken considerably more damage.

Without a word, Dave charged again.

Sean ducked under his heavy hook, hooked a foot behind his leg, and sent him crashing sideways onto the pavement.

Dave immediately got back up and rushed him again. Sean stepped in, caught his arm, and flipped him cleanly over his shoulder.

A third time, Dave came charging back. Sean slipped behind him, locked his arms around his waist, and launched him overhead with a German suplex.

Dave crashed headfirst into the pavement.

Sean stood over him and raised three fingers.

“Three.”

Dave immediately pushed himself back up and charged again.

Sean calmly sidestepped him, grabbed the back of his neck and one arm, and used Dave’s own momentum to send his massive body flipping through the air.

BOOM!

Dave slammed flat onto his back. Sean looked down at him and raised four fingers.

“Four.”

Despite being thrown into the pavement four times, Dave had taken almost no real damage. But being tossed around like a training dummy in front of a crowd had seriously pissed him off.

Dave climbed back to his feet, humiliated and furious.

Section 4: The Finishing Blow

Sean took a few steps back and looked Dave over.

“Your muscles are truly impressive,” he said. “But you’re nothing more than an amateur. You recklessly destroy everything in your path. Too many innocent people have already suffered because of you. Have you no shame?”

Sean clenched his fists and took his stance. “It ends here.”

The crowd erupted into cheers.

“Sean! Sean! Let’s go, Sean! Beat the crap out of that son of a bitch!”

Dave wiped the dirt from his face and glanced around at the cheering crowd.

“When did I become the bad guy?” he muttered. “And when the hell did you become the good one? You gangster.”

“Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! Shut your mouth!” Sean snapped. “You’ve completely lost your mind.”

His expression turned cold. Without another word, Sean lunged forward, ready to deliver a finishing blow.

Sean threw a punch straight at Dave’s face.

Dave immediately raised both arms to block—but the punch was only a feint.

Sean dropped low, swept Dave’s legs out from under him, and sent his massive body crashing onto his back.

Before Dave could react, Sean leaped into the air and brought the heel of his sharp leather shoe crashing straight down toward Dave’s face.

The heel of Sean’s leather shoe slammed into Dave’s face.

Sparks exploded from the impact as a deafening metallic clang rang through the street, like a pile driver striking solid steel.

Using the rebound, Sean launched himself into a graceful backflip and landed perfectly on his feet.

Dave remained on the ground, emotionless, half of his massive head buried in the pavement. Around his head, cracks spread outward in a perfect spiderweb pattern.

Several seconds passed. Dave didn’t move. Sean’s tense body finally relaxed.

“It’s over.”

After a brief silence, the opposite sidewalk erupted in cheers and applause.

“SEAN! OUR HERO!”

“HE SAVED US!”

Sean turned toward the cheering crowd, raised both hands, and smiled. “Thank you for your support! I promise, from now on I’ll—”

Section 5: One Punch

BOOM!!

Before Sean could finish his sentence, Dave’s fist slammed straight into his stomach.

Sean’s body folded around the punch. His feet instantly left the ground, and he shot backward like a cannonball, flying across the street before smashing through the wall of the hardware store.

The wall exploded inward in a burst of bricks and dust as Sean disappeared into the store.

Inside the hardware store, Sean crashed into a row of shelves and finally landed beneath a pile of tools and debris.

The storekeeper stood frozen behind the counter, staring at the motionless body among the wreckage. A warm stream slowly ran down his pants.

His lips trembled.

“…He’s dead…”

Outside, Dave was still standing in the middle of the street, his fist raised from the punch.

“Your overconfidence was your undoing,” he said coldly. “So weak. One punch was all it took.”

Across the street, the crowd had gone completely silent. The cheers from moments ago were gone, replaced by frightened faces staring back at him.

“What do we do now?” someone whispered.

“We’re doomed! Sean has fallen!”

“The Underwear freak is gonna come after us next!”

Panic quickly spread through the crowd.

Section 6: Time to Clock Out

Yet in the middle of the panicking crowd, one man remained perfectly calm. He wore a black tank top, Nike shorts, and athletic sneakers.

It was Brian.

He quietly watched Dave for a moment. Then his eyes began to glow with a faint golden light.

Golden Eyes.

After studying Dave for a few seconds, Brian rubbed his chin. “Hmm… How do I put this one? If I had to pick just one word…”

“Weak as hell.”

A man standing nearby suddenly recognized him.

“Wait… Brian? You’re one of the higher-ups in the Humble Organization, right? You’re supposed to be strong! Please, save us!”

Brian glanced at him, then casually checked his watch.

“Oh. It’s five.”

He turned around and started walking away.

“Time to clock out.”

The crowd watched his departing figure, their faces sinking into despair.